gone
by cHiBiHiTaRu
Summary: "...I'll never forget you..." was the last thing she said to him, before she left. Now, Van's missing Hitomi, and experiancing loneliness more than he can handle. He's got to find her. But what will he discover when he does find her? please R/R!


Gone  
  
A/n: I changed the partings of Van and Hitomi just a tad bit. Just so it would be more. sad? Oh by the way, I don't own escaflowne, or n'sync/song.. etc. but I do luv it! Yeah, it's a song fic from N'SYNC. "gone"  
  
Hence the title? Btw. the words in italics are either flashbacks, or thoughts. Anyways, just a little experimental thing I'm trying. Let's hope it turns out ok.  
  
Here we go.  
  
X . o . x . o . x . o . x . o . x . o . x . O  
  
  
  
He tilted his head slowly, tossing his ebony locks to the wind. On his mouth curved a frown, and in his violet tinted eyes, reflected hurt and sorrow. ". goodbye Van. goodbye. I'll never forget you." And in that flash of light, she was taken away from him.. As if she was never there. A single tear rolled down his cheek. "I love you. Hitomi." He shook his head, raising his face to the sky again. He would need to start facing the truth. She was back on earth. where she was happy. Happy without him.  
  
There's a thousand words that I could say  
  
To make you come home  
  
Oh, seems so long ago you walked away  
  
Left me alone  
  
He never noticed, as the glowing orb that was the sun setting in the west, of the dark chasm of clouds that gathered above him, threatening rain. He blinked as a soft drizzle of rain fell into his eyes, enveloping his tears. A sob rose in his throat, coughing, he desperately tried to fight the tears that just wouldn't stop. In his eyes reflected the twin planets that hung in the sky. He wished and wished, for that pillar of light, to grace his world once more. He closed his eyes, painfully, as he tried to remember.  
  
Yes. it was so clear in his mind. That fateful day.  
  
I remember what you said to me  
  
You were acting so strange  
  
and maybe I was too blind to see  
  
That you needed a change  
  
". Hitomi. will you stay with me forever? I. I need you here with me."  
  
Hitomi turned around, her back to Van. She was acting so strange. Shouldn't she be happy? Hitomi turned, her eyes lowered to the ground.  
  
".Van.I. I miss my family a lot.. " a tear slipped discreetly down the side of her cheek, but not discreet enough for Van to miss it. He drew her close to him, and kissed her tear away. "What do you mean?"  
  
Van asked, his voice confused, his eyes concerned. "Van. I-I can't deal with the loneliness. I miss my mom, dad, Yukari. everyone. It's not like I don't want to stay with you. but I."  
  
Van held her closer, wrapping his arms around her. He felt her tense up, her shoulders shaking as she cried. "If. If that's what you want. if you want to go back.. then I can't stop you."  
  
Hitomi pulled back from him, sobbing. "I don't want to leave you. but I. they must be worried sick and." "Shh. It's okay. You needn't explain." He reached in his pocket and pulled out the energist. Hitomi's emerald eyes looked on to the energist, then back to him. Then, she embraced him. "Thank you Van."  
  
Van felt a knot of hurt slowly wind up in his stomach. Then he spoke flatly. "I don't want to be the one to hold you back from your true happiness. Go on." He then, raised the energist heavenward. Immediately, the glowing pillar of light descended, and enveloped Hitomi in it's grasp. ".goodbye Van. goodbye. I'll never forget you." His throat tightened, and those words he longed to say to her, couldn't come out. "I. I. Love. you." He mouthed, as she disappeared. She was gone.  
  
  
  
  
  
Was it something I said  
  
To make you turn away?  
  
To make you walk out and leave me cold  
  
If I could just find a way  
  
To make it so that you were right here  
  
But right now..  
  
He winced at the memory. She was happy now. Where she belonged, with her family. He bit his lip again. "I'm not going to cry." He told himself. But his conviction broke him down. Those tears that he wanted to hide slid down his cheeks. He slapped them angrily away. He was King, a man now. How could a King of Fanelia cry over such a small matter? Over. over a girl that didn't even love him. Over a girl that left him. "Why? Why is it that these feelings keep coming up? That I just can't let her go?" He clenched his fist again. "It's my fault. I let her go. I told her to leave." His lip trembled as his feelings tumbled out. "I couldn't keep her here, where she was lonely. Where she was unhappy." He envisioned them together. So perfect. So sweet.  
  
He held her right there in his arms. Below them, the world of Gaea sparkled brightly. His billowy white feathers drifted all around them .She looked so beautiful, smiling up at him. He tightened his arms around her, never wanting to let her go. "Van. I'm so happy here with you." She whispered, her emerald green eyes shining like jewels in the night. He lifted a hand gently, and touched her face, his fingers outlining her soft, impeccable cheekbones. She was in his arms at last.  
  
"Hitomi." he cried wistfully, shivering in the icy cold rain. He was going to go insane, if he couldn't hold her. If he couldn't touch her.  
  
I've been sitting here  
  
Can't get you off my mind  
  
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong  
  
I've drove myself insane  
  
Wishing I could touch your face  
  
But the truth remains you're gone.  
  
And that night, he slept, an uneasy sleep. On the wet grass. Even in his dreams, he dreamt of her.  
  
A soft smile curved on her beautiful lips. Her sandy brown tresses of silk tossed in the breeze. She walked closer to him, holding out her hand. Smiling, Van took it. "I miss you Van. " Van nodded, his eyes gazing softly into her eyes. "Why'd you have to leave Hitomi?" Hitomi shook her head. With one hand, she caressed his face. Other, she ran through his hair. She kissed him softly, her kiss resting on his lips like soft petals of a flower. Refreshing like a pure spring. Everything about her kiss, it was pure. Sweet. "Hitomi." he whispered, reaching out his hand to hold her. He only felt air. His violet eyes flew open. Above him, he saw the last traces of the pillar of light, as it took his love away.  
  
"No. wait." but his desperate pleas made no difference.  
  
He woke up, beads of sweat clinging to his forehead. "Just tell me. what can I do to make you come back. Please." Holding his head in his hands, he sobbed.  
  
I don't wanna make excuses, baby  
  
Won't change the fact that you're gone  
  
But if there's something that I could do  
  
Won't you please let me know?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
No one answered his cries. The fields were silent, and dark. Just like his heart. So empty, and broken. "The times we had together Hitomi. they passed so quickly. Tomorrow seemed like a blur for us. We couldn't wait until dawn. To see what the new day held. Now." He shook his head, and said bitterly. "It's going so slowly now. Is my life going to be like this from now on? Without you."  
  
Time is passing so slowly now  
  
Guess that's my life without you  
  
and maybe I could change my every day  
  
But baby I don't want to  
  
So I'll just hang around  
  
and find some things to do  
  
To take my mind off missing you  
  
". Forget her." the voice in the back of his head whispered. ". she isn't worth your effort." Van grunted in reply, leaping up. Drawing his sword, he began furiously swiping his sword in mid air. Hoping it would help him take his mind off her. Concentrating, he practiced what he had learned in his life. Being a swordsman. Protecting his country. Being King. His sweat flew off his skin as he swung his sword. None of that mattered anymore. The only thing that mattered. Hitomi. all that he cared about.  
  
Drops of scarlet blood scattered on the ground. He had cut his forearm. Van's hand loosened, his sword clattering to the ground.  
  
I know in my heart  
  
You can't say that you don't love me too  
  
Please say you do.  
  
He looked up into the sky, once again, ignoring the throbbing pain in his arm. It was nothing, compared to the excruciating emotion that pained his heart. What was that feeling he felt? Remorse. regret...  
  
".I'll never forget you Van." With a clash, Van sheathed his sword again. "I won't let you forget me Hitomi." With a cry, he launched into the sky, billowy white feathers drifting to the ground. He soared towards his destination. The mystic moon.  
  
Oh what'll I do  
  
If I can't be with you  
  
Tell me where will I turn to  
  
Baby where will I be  
  
We are apart  
  
Am I still in your heart?  
  
1.1  
  
". Van. I feel forever in your arms.you'll be in my heart always."  
  
He smiled softly, reminiscing on the past. He was going to see her soon, he could hold her again. And this time, he wasn't going to let her go. Ahead of him, he saw the earth, drawing closer. The air around him grew thinner and thinner. He panicked slightly, feeling waves of dizziness overwhelm him. He needed air. He brushed off the choking feeling in his throat, tightening. His muscles felt weak, like he couldn't go on. The atmosphere above Gaea, it was so cold. He trembled in the darkness of the night. Then, he thought of her. ".please don't leave me Van. I. I care about you a lot." She glanced innocently up into his eyes, concern adorning her perfect features. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed his neck. "I need her with me. and if I give up here, I won't ever see her again." With that conviction in his head, he flew on, towards his destination.  
  
Baby why don't you see?  
  
1.2 That I need you here with me.  
  
  
  
  
  
Suddenly, a flash of light enveloped him and all he could see was white. Closing his eyes, he waited until his feet felt solid ground. He was on the mystic moon. His surroundings, they were strangely familiar. Like he'd been there before. "Oh!" he cried in sudden recognition. It was the track field. The place where he had first been transported to the mystic moon.  
  
Where he had fought his first dragon, to claim the right of being king. Where. a smile curved his lips. Where he had first met Hitomi. He began walking towards the field, his heart pounding. He was nervous and excited all in one feeling. What would he say once he saw her? Would she be happy to see him? All those questions pertruded his mind, making him all the more confused.  
  
Suddenly, something ahead of him interrupted his chain of thoughts, and made him stop short.  
  
A pretty girl with sandy brown hair sat on a wooden bench, looking at her wristwatch. She was wearing a school uniform, and running shoes. She seemed. to be waiting for someone. She looked much more mature, and her hair was longer, but Van was sure he didn't mistaken her for someone else. It was Hitomi. Was she waiting for him? Van felt his heart beating faster. This was it. What he was waiting for. He broke into a slight run. "I'm coming Hitomi. I'm coming for you."  
  
Suddenly, a figure stepped out behind Hitomi, a handsome boy around the age of seventeen. A slight smile played on his lips, and his sea green eyes twinkled. Hitomi turned slightly, and smiled. She stood up, and embraced the boy. Van stopped short, sweat breaking out on his forehead. What's going on here? Van watched in utter dismay and confusion as Hitomi lifted her chin, her soft pink lips brushing against the boy's. He watched as the girl he loved share a passionate kiss with the boy, his arms wrapping around her waist. Then, she pulled away, running her gentle fingers across his cheek. "I missed you Amano. " He held her close, as she slipped her arms around his broad shoulders. "I missed you too Hitomi. I'll love you forever." Amano rubbed her cheek fondly, linking his hands through hers.  
  
Van felt his knees give way, and he sank to the ground, feeling his world collapse around him. No matter how he tried to turn away, he couldn't. All he could do was sit there, watching another take her away.  
  
Amano looked concerned, as he put his arms tightly around her. "Are you alright now? You don't have visions and faint anymore, do you Hitomi?" Hitomi shook her head, laying her head on his chest. "It was just a silly dream. I'm grown up enough for you now Amano." Amano smiled. "I'm glad. So it's all behind you now? That silly little imagination of yours running wild." Hitomi laughed, the sweet sound of her voice drifting to Van's ears. It hurt so much just to hear her voice.  
  
"Yeah, I was just naïve back then. Thinking up my own romances in a faraway land. It's all forgotten now. I forgot all of it. I forgot him."  
  
". I forgot all of it. I forgot him."  
  
Van saw the world before him fade to a blur. All he could feel was the jagged pain of hurt slicing through him. She forgot him. She had lied to him. ". I'll never forget you." She had forgotten her promise.  
  
Van pulled his wings protectively around him, tears of grievance spilling from his eyes.  
  
". I'll never forget you Van." Was that all just a lie? An empty promise. One sentence that meant so much, but so little to her. All his hopes, dreams, would never become reality. Didn't she know she had hurt him? Killed his fire, compassion, she was his world. All he thought about. And she dismissed him simply, as if he never mattered.. His teary violet eyes scanned the skies once more. The stars. they seemed to dim. The moon, that had once been his hope, was no more than a tiny crescent. ". I'll never forget." ".She never remembered me. she didn't love me. I can't hold her. I can't touch her. she's gone."  
  
X . o . x . o . x . o . x . o . x . o . x . O  
  
I've been sitting here  
  
Can't get you off my mind  
  
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong  
  
I've drove myself insane  
  
Wishing I could touch your face  
  
1.3 But the truth remains you're gone.  
  
  
  
End  
  
A/n: sorry. *sniff* hitomi fans. I just felt like writing angst at this moment of time. so do forgive me.  
  
Anyhow.. please tell me what u think of it okay? Thanks. =) 


End file.
